Trump is my hero

I have learned so much from Mr. Trump since he entered into the political fray.  I am now trying to incorporate some of his teachings into my daily life.  Here are a few:

Women – Put them on a pedestal, as long as you can look up their dress.  They can’t be trusted to govern their own bodies – men should do that.  You can call any woman awful names, no matter how wonderful they are or how qualified they are to be president.  And I can’t wait to start grabbing crotches and sneaking into dressing rooms.

Racism – It’s simply ok; nothing wrong with it.  And it helps to surround yourself with similar thinking people (mostly white men).  It’s also important to seek out other racists for support in whatever subjugating endeavor you choose.  Given that there are so many such people in this country, that would be easy.

The environment – What environment?

Ego/Id – My perspective is the only perspective.  Anyone who challenges me is going to get it right between the eyes.  And when he eliminates all gun control, this may be literal.  Soon, I will be the greatest photographer ever, not because I’ll improve that much but because I’ll convince myself that it’s true.  Every photograph will be beautiful, believe me.

Fake news – Now every time someone criticizes me, it will simply be fake news.  If my spouse says I have no idea how to clean around the house – fake news.  If my friends and neighbors think my comments about women are inappropriate – fake news.  You get the idea.

And I love the fact that Mr. Trump tweets every thought without considering the consequences.  I think he may have invented it, since he puts the “twit” in Twitter.

I have also invented a new game in honor of my hero.  You may have heard of “Whack-A-Mole”.  Well now there’s “Thump-A-Trump”.  Use your imagination.

I’ll be continuing to pick up tips and tricks from Mr. Trump, but you can do this yourself right at home.  Just read the news.

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