The secret to discovering the “truth” in all things has been revealed to me. It’s actually quite easy and I’m being very gracious in passing it on to you at minimal cost. If you follow these simple rules, you too can be the fountain of truth in your world.
- Everything you say is the truth, even if you actually make an error. Deny the error and simultaneously deflect the issue to another person or issue not related to you.
- Don’t accept any statement challenging your truths. Call these challenges something like “fake”.
- If an “interpretation” of your statements of truth conflicts with an earlier statement of your position or way of thinking, claim that you actually meant something else, even though it may not relate to your original statement at all.
- Create alternative truths
- Threaten to investigate anyone who challenges your truth, which may tie in with #1.
My “truth” guru is a person in a position of great responsibility, so we know not only that everything he says is true, but that his teachings are infallible. Thank you, Mr. Trump.
ps. The minimal cost mentioned above is in reality, your soul.